Jack Bogle Says “Effit!”, Buys Majority Stake In Snapchat
VALLEY FORGE – Legendary investor Jack Bogle has purchased a majority stake in Snap Inc., the parent company of the popular Snapchat social media platform. Mr. Bogle was seen by local reporters at an all-night club with a tumbler of triple malt laughing hysterically with his phone in hand. “Check this out….” quipped Bogle as he drew bunny ears and a clown nose on a picture of Warren Buffet, “is that shit-hot or what!?”. When asked about the acquisition Bogle said index funds were “for boring losers” and “people who watch Ken Burns documentaries”. Bogle was last seen slamming an Irish car bomb and begging the house DJ to play “anything from Young Thug”.