Area Loser Would Be Loser In Every Possible Time Period


Area loser Chris Knittle was informed by online calculator FireCalc that he would be a loser in every possible time period in history.  Knittle spent Saturday morning excitedly plugging his data into the online calculator, popular with the financial independence and early retirement community, after discovering it through a blog post.  Nervously hoping it would confirm his unsure belief that he’s not a complete loser, Knittle pressed the “submit” button.  To his utter dismay, the results showed Knittle to be a loser in 100% of all possible time periods.  As of press time, Mr. Knittle has not found any relief or hope for the deep-seated misery and despair that is his loser life.

Knittle’s FireCalc Results
#ThatOnePurpleLineCameSoClose

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10 Responses

  1. susanfiideas says:

    Wait – but poor Chris is above the red line for about 6 years. Now that is some serious F-you money!

  2. MrFiGuy says:

    To relieve his depression from the FIREcalc results, Chris decided to lease a new car! Now he feels much better 🙂

  3. Lol I didn’t understand this article until I realized what turnip fire was haha.

  4. Bob says:

    Okay I am really slow, but I figured it out. Those are really bad results even for a loser!

  5. Hahaha well that is a lot of years before massive loser at least 😂

  6. I want to see the data set used to produce that result! lol

  7. Ouch! Maybe he should try OnTrajectory.com to see if his luck changes at all? Or go to Vegas. Yeah, that’s a winner…

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