Study Finds Average American Family Inadvertently Saves $53 A Year
WASHINGTON D.C. – A study from the Brookings Institution shows the average American family inadvertently saves $53 a year. “At first we were definitely surprised by the results” said lead researcher John Blutarsky. “We expected results that showed no savings at all, but it appeared most American households were intentionally saving around $53 every year. Then we dug into the data further and it was clear that these “savings” were actually the result of a missed night out at the Olive Garden or Outback Steak House. The study clearly shows it only takes one missed night out to inadvertently and unintentionally save $53 towards your retirement.”
Blutarsky added, “Our analysis shows that most families aren’t aware of these inadvertent savings, so for now they’ll just keep on living normally. But the danger comes if they find out they have savings at some point in the future. There ain’t enough bloomin’ onions in the world to hold back the spending spree that will result”.
i knew brother bluto would make something of himself. 53 bucks is a lot of steam.
Yeah, on the surface I thought he’d be a loser but really knew he’d make it. But the Brookings Institution, that surprised me.
Sweet – just 79 more years at a 10% annual return to get to $1 million.
Tell me you actually ran those numbers
Yup, Excel is my friend.
You are the man!
Now that’s funny!!
Thanks Fred!
Let’s hope they never find out about those savings, then! But seriously, I wonder how close this is to the truth. I just read an article saying that 58% of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings. Sigh.
I know, I wrote it as satire but it might just be true 🙁
Woohoo! I saved $53! Now I can go to Outback Steakhouse EXTREME and eat an elephant steak then go back home and PUNISH MY TOILET!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhMIbO3S–E
Of course, you know me, I would never do this…
HAAA!! How Family Guy gets away with stuff like that in this day and age of intolerant twitter mobs is beyond me. Thanks for the laugh!
Seriously, there should be a federal assistance program to help those who save money like this; by mistake no less! YOLO all the way!
Yes!
Cracked me up – I was halfway through the piece and was just preparing my objection that there’s no way that their accidental savings wouldn’t end up going towards a new $53 per month premium cable TV upgrade, or the latest Apple doodad like the iHeadband Sweat Tracker (TM), but the deep-fried bloomin’ onions is actually spot-on. They’ll use long-term debt for the cable TV and gadgets, of course!
America (speaking to Outback steakhouse): You had me at ‘deep-fried bloomin’ onion’.
Outback Steakhouse (to America): I love your money!
When they dug into the data even further they found that the missed night out to Olive Garden was due to unusually high demand and the wait was 1.5 hours, approximately 30 minutes longer than the average American family is willing to wait to have overpriced food served to them.
So true…
Keep these little gems coming 🙂
That means I need to keep the bourbon coming 🙂
LOL whatever works for you 🙂
I don’t know if i want to laugh or cry at this one haha
Both are acceptable responses. Of course some folks laugh so hard they cry so there’s that 😉