To Achieve Financial Independence, Callus The Mind

I’m going to paint a picture for you.  Think of a 12 year old who’s already 6 feet tall and about 200 pounds.  Sure, he’s tall but he has no muscle yet, so that 200lbs is all fat.  He’s very overweight. 

He wears glasses, and has braces because his two front buck teeth are right out of a Chipmunks cartoon.  There’s a big protruding mole at the tip of his nose, and some kids call him “the wicked witch” because of it.  He’s already got bad acne, and pimples literally appear throughout the day at school. 

And oh yeah, his stutter is so bad he can barely talk. 

Well you guessed it, that poor 12 year old kid was me.  I was, to put it mildly, a mess.  “Confidence” was not in my vocabulary.  I was extremely self-conscious, and got picked on a lot. 

Eventually I learned to throw my 200lbs around and fight the bullies.  And I did it well.  Not many kids bullied me twice. 

But I struggled throughout my childhood and adolescence with my, let’s just say, uniqueness.  Tack on a very volatile situation with my father and life was not necessarily rosy.

Okay, let’s jump forward.. 

 

Fast Forward To Now

Today you could stick a pin through the fingertips on my left hand and I wouldn’t feel a thing.  It’s not a magic trick.  The dead skin, or calluses, on my left hand fingertips are typical for a guitarist. 

Calluses form to protect skin from repeated friction, pressure, and irritation.  Turns out that rubbing thin steel strings up against ones fingertips for hours on end is not natural.  So the body reacts by killing that skin and turning it into a hard shield to protect the tissue below.

Calluses are shields.  A defense mechanism, to protect from attacks.

Where am I going with this? 

Well I eventually learned to build some calluses around my mind, to put a protective shield around my mindset and thoughts.  And it helped me get to financial independence.

I overcame my horrible stutter by taking a teaching job of all things, where I was required to talk in front of people everyday.  That job launched my career and salary to the next level.

And I acquired the discipline to change my diet and exercise habits to lose over 75 pounds and avoid the sure path to type-II diabetes that I was on.

Thankfully most my other physical “uniqueness” went away.  My teeth got straightened, my acne disappeared, and I eventually had that mole taken off my nose. 

I have learned, at least at a journeyman level, how to callus my mind and shield it. 

What am I shielding it from?  Negative self talk, doubt, fear, and caring what strangers think about me. 

In no way am I master of the practice, but it’s a journey that I’m sure I’ll be on for life. 

But David Goggins however, is a master…

 

The Guru

David Goggins is one of the toughest humans on the planet.  He’s the only person ever to complete Navy SEAL training (including three hell weeks in the span of a year), the U.S. Army Ranger School, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training (Air Force Special Operations).  And that just scratches the surface of his accomplishments.

He’s become one of the most influential figures in the self-help ecosphere, and he’s an inspiration to millions, including me.  His service as a Navy SEAL is enough in and of itself to inspire, but when you hear this guys full story, he’s on another level. 

This short video is only a quick summation, that’s him speaking but an actor in the video.  If you want a longer version this is a good one. 

Warning, he cusses a lot, so he might not be your cup of tea if that turns you off.

Goggins endured horrible racism and an abusive father as a child.  He blew up to over 300 lbs after leaving the Air Force and was told he was worthless.  His story is amazing.  He really suffered as a kid and young adult, way more than I did.  

Goggins preaches the concept of callusing the mind.  Meaning you have to train your mind to build up calluses to protect it from the pain and struggle that comes with life.  He learned the key to life is in his head, and he must protect that key by building up a shield. 

That doesn’t mean blocking people out or refusing the help of others.  It’s a shield to protect from the negative self talk we all have, and the malevolence of others.  From past trauma, or current depression. 

Callusing the mind usually requires suffering, intentional or unintentional.  The calluses on my fingers don’t appear on their own.  I have to play guitar for hours, days, and weeks – each time until my fingers are in agony – to get them going.  Only after the skin on my fingertips has been subjected to enough pain will they form, and then the pain goes away. 

Likewise, callusing the mind requires uncomfortable experiences of pain and suffering to program the software in your head to protect itself.  It’s kind of like creating anti-virus software for the brain. 

 

The Money Angle

How can the concept of callusing your mind help with your money and your journey to financial independence? 

First and foremost it can help you achieve a healthy body by teaching you to embrace suffering.  It goes without saying that a healthy body leads to a healthier mind that will make better decisions about spending, and virtually everything in life.

Secondly, the journey to FI is a long game for most.  By callusing your mind and blocking out the negativity and doubt you will more likely stay the course. 

But to me it applies in a different way that isn’t as obvious.  I believe it can help prevent the all-too-common “keep up with the Jonese’s” race that leads to runaway lifestyle inflation and retirement sabotage.

The driving force behind lifestyle inflation and rampant consumerism is the need to fit in.  To be part of a tribe.  If you live in the nice suburbs, you “need” certain things to signal you’re part of that tribe. 

The luxury SUV, big house, and chemically manicured lawn.

Failure to have one or more of these things could lead to tribal expulsion, real or perceived.  These are social norms, and disliking them doesn’t make one immune from their pressures. 

We all have egos, we all care at some level.  When people think negatively of us, it usually bothers us.  Acceptance from other people is a fundamental human need, and an alluring thing. 

It ultimately comes down to caring what others, mostly strangers, think about you.  About what image you’re giving off to the world.

What if you didn’t care?  Or what if you cared way way less?  What if you could build a shield to protect from the fears of being expelled from the tribe?  What if you could block the urge to be admired or the fear of being judged simply for the kind of car you drive, or how green your lawn looks? 

To me that sounds like bliss.  That’s why you need a callus on your mind.

 

I’m Rubber, You’re Glue…

After my unique childhood, I tried to convince myself that I didn’t care what others thought of me as an adult.  I survived those brutal days as a 12 year old, the stuttering, and being really different.  I was going to do my own thing.  Live differently. 

But – newsflash, like 99.9% of people I do care what others think about me, to some degree.  I’ve done a decent job however of keeping it to a manageable level.  Way more manageable than many.

I drove crap cars and avoided the lifestyle trappings that most in my income class succumb to.  I usually felt content opting out of the pressures of materialism.  That got me to financial independence.  I was able to do this because I realize I mostly don’t care what people think about me. 

I’ve built some calluses.  I’m me, they don’t know my story. 

I really wish I could have callused my mind as that awkward 12 year old.  But those negative experiences no doubt strengthened me and made me who I am today, as much as they sucked.

Building calluses for your mind can help protect against lots of things – imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and failure.  And yes, lifestyle inflation.  When you’re not concerned what others think of you, when you have a tough shield to protect you from that pressure, you’re more free to be you. 

And you’re more free to live differently and achieve financial independence.