The Smugness Of Financial Independence
A few days ago I was on mile 5 of a super early morning run. I don’t like running at 5:30 in the morning, but summers in the D.C. region often make it the best option. With a forecast for 97 degrees and our ubiquitous and suffocating humidity an early morning start was the only sane option before the day became unbearable.
I was also on a 13 hour fast since I can’t run after eating. In other words, I was suffering, riding the pain train. But I was out there and making a living.
As I ran down the main commercial drag near my house on mostly quiet and empty streets, another runner approached me. When we passed we gave each other a special kind of glance and smile. So much of communication is non-verbal, and this was entirely so. What did our glances and smirks communicate?
They confirmed that we’re part of a tribe, one that does the work. Our self-satisfactory smirks were a virtual fist-bump that confirmed our membership in the club of those who care about getting at it, and doing the work to stay healthy. All it took was a mere glance and we both knew a shit-ton about each other.
In full disclosure she appeared to be a much faster runner than I, but that didn’t matter. We made it clear that we both knew the secret handshake.
Get Over Yourself
If all that sounds smug well, yeah, I get it. It kind of is. I’ll own that, and I’m sure the other runner would too. Smug or not, there is something about being proud of your accomplishments and your path, and sharing that with someone else on a similar path.
What does this have to do with money?
As I continued the run, that quick interaction with the other runner reminded me of a similar interaction at FinCon a few years back. If you’re not familiar, FinCon is a financial conference mostly geared towards so-called “creators” in the personal finance community.
I haven’t been in the last few years, but it used to be chock full of all the big names, and with tons of personal finance nerds walking around. So the majority of people are really good with their money, and are either financially independent or well on the path to being so.
One morning at FinCon I ordered a plain black coffee at the coffee shop in the conference center and the guy behind the counter said “We’re running a special on frothy frappuccino delights for conference attendees” (I forget the name of the drink but it was a super-sugary unhealthy mess with whipped cream on top)
I replied “No thanks, I just want a small black coffee, no cream or sugar”
He replied, “Ok, but you’re missing a great deal”.
As I waited the guy in the line next to me ordered the same, a small black coffee. He got the same offer for the unhealthy mess, and also refused. Then he glanced over at me and we exchanged the same self-satisfying smirks that I did with the runner a few days ago.
“Yep, we’re winning. We’re saving money and being healthy. I know where you’re coming from and I’m coming from the same place. Sympatico.”
Pretty darn smug huh?
A pride….. kind of smug
Smugness
The word smug has negative connotations but what does it mean exactly? Smugness is defined as : “having or showing an excessive pride in oneself or one’s achievements.”
Well that’s not so bad is it? I mean maybe yeah, but define ‘excessive’. To me there’s nothing wrong with being proud of one’s achievements, be they running at 5:30 in the morning or getting to financial independence and early retirement.
Many of the interactions I’ve had with others in the personal finance space either at conferences or elsewhere have had a special feeling of pride to them. It’s rarely if ever stately overtly, but there’s often an undercurrent to those personal interactions and conversations that says “yeah, we both get it, we get what others don’t. We’re on the path to freedom because we don’t behave like most people. We’re smart with our money, we’re different.”
It could perhaps be called smugness but in most cases I don’t think it’s excessive pride. In any case, what is and is not excessive is in the eye of the beholder.
Anyhoo, the whole thing is a great excuse to bring up one of the best South Park episodes ever, where hybrid car drivers started behaving so smugly that a thick cloud of dangerous smug moved across the country, threatening everyone. I’m not that smug for sure 🙂
That’s my thoughts for this week folks, now it’s your turn.
If you’ve interacted with others in the personal finance space, have you also sensed the same undercurrent of pride? Did it reach smugness? Comment below!
Nothing wrong about a little smug once in awhile. It doesn’t hurt anyone, and provides a boost of confidence. 😁
As long as it doesn’t become a big dangerous cloud of smug!
i would gladly pay up for that fancy coffee drink if that’s what i enjoyed. i don’t. as far as the smug sometimes i don’t get it just because i remember a few key inflection points in life that could have gone a different way and things maybe turned out way different. i can think of some pals who dealt with an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy, a flooded house, or just some combinations of circumstances that never plagued me. we ended up in different places but it all easily could have been reversed.
all that being said, we still did the heavy lifting just like you dave and deserve a little victory lap among peers from time to time.
One of my bests posts ever by popularity was about that very subject and liked to in this post. Yep, that could be me
You’ve convinced me, we need a secret “FI Handshake!” One of the best clubs in the world, how have we gone this long without a secret handshake??
That would be cool but unfortunately covid might have killed that fun. I’m still for it!
I’ll never forget one of my platoon sergeants making the oxymoron statement of “we’re better than everyone because we’re so humble.”
We were in a marginally elite LRS unit that eventually became obsolete due to drones (They took our jobs!!!-South Park S8E7/IMHO best ep ever). It was easy to look down on regular army units because we had clearly defined standards that put us above them-physical fitness scores, passing various assessments and training schools, etc.
There were times where earning my way into that unit made me feel superior to other soldiers. As I’ve gotten older and perhaps slightly less stupid, I look back and realize that pride in my achievements was good, but when I crossed into judging others it became unhealthy. I’ve since met plenty of vets that served in “regular” units that are truly amazing human beings- despite their unwillingness to pass some arbitrary assessment and get chucked out of a plane in the middle of the night.
I think this can be a common trap, especially with facets of our life that are quantifiable; income, net worth, strava segment time. Totally cool to have pride, and maybe be a bit smug. It can be detrimental to our own well being when we let pride make us feel superior.
I agree with Freddy above; remembering that at least part of our success was due to an inflection point going our way can be an antidote to our egos getting the better of us.
“we’re better than everyone because we’re so humble.”
Oh man, that’s a classic! Sounds like you have a great way of looking at you career and that you balanced the pride aspect with the humbleness. As you know there are times when you’re in the thick of it that you have to flaunt your bad-assness and mentally prop yourself up. But that should be balanced with the realization that you’re just another human, and all humans count 🙂 Thanks for the great comment!
IMO, you hit the nail on the head here with the FI tribe. I’ll add elite university graduate, bench press weight amount and job title as more smug clubs. The number of clubs are endless.
crossfit. vegans. yes the list could go on 🙂
Such a wonderful article and this was kinda/sorta on my list of article to write. Before I was alive, Kurt Vonnegut introduced the notion of the “karass” in his glorious novel “Cat’s Cradle”. Lots of pages later I found him sitting on a shady bench in the grove of a very small college campus, enjoying a cigarette before a lecture in a few hours. Intrepidly, I sat down next to him and he nodded. After a few moments of us sitting quietly together, I said, “Kurt, what is the real definion of a karass?” He seemed a little taken aback, but pulled hard on the smoke, looked at me dead in the eye and said, “A group of people who are affiliated or linked spiritually.” Like us now, we’re in the same karass.”
Wow you met him, very cool! I like that definition, a spiritual link. And it can often be acknowledged by a smiling headshake
Yes anyone who gets up to run at 5:30 should be proud, whether it’s for morning shift or a run. It’s not like you think you’re better than anyone, like you said your doing the work.
So interesting to see that barista try to upsell a coffee at a personal finance conference. I wonder if anyone took him up on it. It’s one thing to go in and splurging on a treat or dessert (we all need to live a little) but another to be “sold” by the pitch of another person. Probably not the right setting to be upselling discretionary purchases!
Haha yes, someone should have told those folks that this conference is different. Sure you might get one or two sales, but these folks are good with their money!
Love it Dave, did the barista also ask for a tip when you paid for your Black Coffee? Love your analogy of the ‘Tribe” when you referred to the runner whose eyes you met at 5:30 am, Seth Goden would be proud. Great post!
I’ve used the word ‘arrogant’ before to describe the attitude of some of the folks in the personal finance community, but smug might actually be a better word.
It’s totally OK to be proud because you’re good at something (like running or money), but it’s a dangerous mental path to go down when you look down on others because “you’re better.” Remember to stay humble, and know that your flaws are many too!
Great post Dave!
Oh dude if I wrote my flaws down I’d need a bigger blog. Thanks for stopping by Tako!
Fantastic article, great read. I live in Singapore, and when I go for runs (usually in the evenings due to the hear), I often experience the same “virtual fist-bumps” or smiles! I am semi retired since I turned 41 about five years ago. Am a DIY investor with approx. 4,5 Mio USD under management. In general I depend on the dividends I make from the company I hold shares in, but I started building up an All Weather Portfolio (currently about 0,5 Mio USD in value). How do you separate your portfolio in terms of asset classes? Do you disclose that somehow?
Wow, you won the game big-time!! My allocations and investments are boring, virtually all index funds and cash. It works, that’s what got me to FI. Right now I’m approx 65% equities, 20% bonds, 15% cash. I don’t keep it disclosed but I mention it from time to time in some of my posts