I Can State Affirmatively That This Is Insane

So Lifehacker ran this piece Friday about this sketchy loan company called Affirm.  Apparently I missed one of their earlier pieces from September.  I had never heard of this company since I’ve become an expert at completely ignoring advertisements in life, so much so that my eyes and mind do not even acknowledge their existence even if they’re right in front of me.  I highly recommend developing this skill by the way…

As I read the two articles, I was torn between shock, laughter, and crying.  The fact that someone would even BUY a $393 pair of cotton pants, much less finance them for, get this,  “rates from 10% – 30% APR” boggles my mind more than words can explain.

The Offending Affirm Ad


It’s like trying to grasp the concept of infinity, I just can’t wrap my mind around it, but I need to think about it from time to time to just say “is that real?…… could that really be true?”



Where I grew up, seedy bars and pawn shops hawk payday loans and check-cashing to prey on poorer people and those who can’t get bank accounts.  This Affirm company just seems to be doing the same thing, but with a slick logo, and hipsterized for the modern latte-sipping, grubhub-getting throngs of fashionable conformists who have larger incomes, but apparently are just as gullible.

Favorite quote from the first article:

“Metcalf (Affirm Chief Of Staff) tells Cagle that the “point of credit” is to “give you access to things you couldn’t afford on a cash basis. It doesn’t mean you can’t really afford it.”


Sigh.  Let me go out on a limb here and assume that Mr. Metcalf won’t be financially independent anytime soon…..

I’m not going to bother typing up the reasons why this type of opinion and behavior is horrible for you, your future, the universe, and everything.  There are plenty of awesome posts from personal finance bloggers out there that have covered all aspects of loans and debt, and I don’t really think I could add anything of value to the technicalities. 

My goal in this blog is not to simply rehash the basics, I want to put my spin and experiences on the basics.  But I don’t have experience taking out batshit-crazy, high interest loans to buy crap I don’t need.  So… again, if you’re confused in any way just google why this is bad and read.  Or learn math, either should suffice.


But, sorry, I gotta go back to the pants….  the mere existence of $393 cotton pants…..   I got nothin’….

She Was Just Informed Of The Existence Of $393 Cotton Pants
#CanITalkYouDownTo$390? #WhyNot$400? #AreTheyMissing$7OfHipsterness?

8 Responses

  1. genymoney99 says:

    Today, I saw a pair of SWIM TRUNKS for $265.00.
    Yes, $300-something for a pair of cotton pants is ridiculous. Unless they are jeans, of course (jk jk jk!)

    • Accidental Fire says:

      I wish I could say it never amazes me what people will be suckered into paying for things, but it still routinely amazes me…

      Thanks for the comment!

  2. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor… there are NO pants in the world worth more than $50, I don’t care who you are or what you think. Unless they are literally lined with gold leaf foil and the buttons are rubies and diamonds. Ridiculousness. Imma go back to my anti-consumer bubble where it’s safe. Thanks for making me laugh though 🙂

    • Accidental Fire says:

      Gold leaf foil lined pants – my new side hustle – I’ll give you a cut of the profits!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Carrie says:

    It’s unbelievable that people can be that ignorant, stupid and gullible. The list goes on. Reminded me of the $85 leather-wrapped pet rock from Nordstrom’s that sold out! WTF??

    • Accidental Fire says:

      I missed that one, gunna have to look that up for a laugh. Maybe it was fine Corinthian leather? I mean, that changes everything

  4. Oh my gosh, this made me laugh out loud. I have never heard of something so stupid!

    • Accidental Fire says:

      Unfortunately I have a hunch that it won’t be the last time we hear something so stupid. Thanks for stopping by!

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