Larry Ellison Recalls The Glory Days Of $800,000 Club Dues
LOS ANGELES – “This is starting to be outrageous”, said Larry Ellison, upon being notified of another increase in his country club dues. The new rate – $1.8 million per year. “I mean, okay, I get inflation, but they don’t even have Porsche 911’s to use while at the club anymore. They’ve downgraded to Teslas!! I don’t wan’t to drive a Tesla, that goody two-shoes Musk guy is a blowhard.”
Sitting back with his martini in hand, Ellison entertained reporters with tales of the good ole days. “Shit, I remember when 800k got you everything we have now, plus access to Congress and the President. Easy-peasy. They just keep nickel-and-diming us and taking away benefits”. He added, “I mean, it’s going to get to a point where I’m probably gonna have to fill out a comment card. I don’t want to do that….. you may be surprised but I can be a real douche bag when I want to be”.
Hahaha! Speaking of Teslas, I almost got plowed over by a brand spanking new Model 3 yesterday while riding home on my bike. I have to assume Elon installed some bike friendly software that prevented calamity…
Let’s hope so… but remember that Uber in AZ killed a cyclist 🙁
Yikes, that adjustment for inflation really stings! LOL…. Oh well, welcome to the life and times of a Country Club Member
We all collectively feel for them
reminds me of the rip torn (r.i.p.) character on the larry sanders show, this ellison rant. one of my high school classmates ended up as a v.p. at oracle in the early days. i think she got rich from that.
She probably did, in their heyday anyone at oracle should have cleaned up on stock options alone.
That’s a lot of nickels and dimes! Poor guy is going to have to start cutting coupons to save money.
he’s on a budget now…
It used to be a club for the middle class, but not any more!
seriously…. the country club class divide is getting worse
You’re not baggin on Tesla’s now, are you?😋
no, but Larry is…. I just can’t see him and Elon getting along
LOL. I agree with DocG. I think Teslas actually are better to drive around than Porsches 🙂
Larry is obviously a gas-burning guy
Wait. This is FAKE NEWS! Larry Ellison owns that golf course. I just checked with Snopes and the Turnip is also Fake. The Onion is real, you know, and they are reporting that Larry Ellison provides a 1999 Toyota Yaris to every one of his members because they are manufactured so that the McLaren F1 body can be placed on that frame in case a big-wig guest comes to visit his club. Get your facts straight, people!
I’m striving to be real like the Onion but it’s hard. I need more reporters
The vision of Larry Ellison driving a Yaris just made my day. No, my week. So. Awesome.
Funny!
Thanks!