Larry Ellison Recalls The Glory Days Of $800,000 Club Dues


LOS ANGELES – “This is starting to be outrageous”, said Larry Ellison, upon being notified of another increase in his country club dues.  The new rate – $1.8 million per year.  “I mean, okay, I get inflation, but they don’t even have Porsche 911’s to use while at the club anymore.  They’ve downgraded to Teslas!!  I don’t wan’t to drive a Tesla, that goody two-shoes Musk guy is a blowhard.”

Sitting back with his martini in hand, Ellison entertained reporters with tales of the good ole days.  “Shit, I remember when 800k got you everything we have now, plus access to Congress and the President.  Easy-peasy.  They just keep nickel-and-diming us and taking away benefits”.  He added, “I mean, it’s going to get to a point where I’m probably gonna have to fill out a comment card.  I don’t want to do that…..  you may be surprised but I can be a real douche bag when I want to be”.

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Dave @ Accidental FIRE

I reached financial independence and semi-retired in my mid-40's through hard work, smart living, and investing. This blog chronicles my journey and explores many aspects of personal finance including the psychological and behavioral factors that drive our habits.

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18 Responses

  1. Hahaha! Speaking of Teslas, I almost got plowed over by a brand spanking new Model 3 yesterday while riding home on my bike. I have to assume Elon installed some bike friendly software that prevented calamity…

  2. Yikes, that adjustment for inflation really stings! LOL…. Oh well, welcome to the life and times of a Country Club Member

  3. reminds me of the rip torn (r.i.p.) character on the larry sanders show, this ellison rant. one of my high school classmates ended up as a v.p. at oracle in the early days. i think she got rich from that.

    • Accidental FIRE says:

      She probably did, in their heyday anyone at oracle should have cleaned up on stock options alone.

  4. That’s a lot of nickels and dimes! Poor guy is going to have to start cutting coupons to save money.

  5. It used to be a club for the middle class, but not any more!

  6. Doc G says:

    You’re not baggin on Tesla’s now, are you?😋

  7. xrayvsn says:

    LOL. I agree with DocG. I think Teslas actually are better to drive around than Porsches 🙂

  8. Wait. This is FAKE NEWS! Larry Ellison owns that golf course. I just checked with Snopes and the Turnip is also Fake. The Onion is real, you know, and they are reporting that Larry Ellison provides a 1999 Toyota Yaris to every one of his members because they are manufactured so that the McLaren F1 body can be placed on that frame in case a big-wig guest comes to visit his club. Get your facts straight, people!

    • Accidental FIRE says:

      I’m striving to be real like the Onion but it’s hard. I need more reporters

      The vision of Larry Ellison driving a Yaris just made my day. No, my week. So. Awesome.

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