Study Links Being Condescending, Fear Mongering To Owning Private Island
BALTIMORE – A groundbreaking and comprehensive study by scientists at John Hopkins University identified a strong link between being condescending and fear mongering to owning a private island. “The results kind of surprised us”, said lead researcher John Cocktosen. “The correlation between owning a private island, whether in a tropical ocean or even a lake, was highly associated with the behavior of needlessly arousing public fear in a condescending way.” Cocktosen added “A full 89.7% of subjects who owned a private island conducted themselves in a patronizing and arrogant manner while warning of impending danger and spreading alarmist rhetoric, especially during podcasts.” The results are so surprising Cocktosen expects to be working until he’s 75 or even 80 to figure it out.
As of press time, researchers emphatically noted we’re all going to die, and we’re not financially ready.
Lol. A private island would be awesome (I used to watch a lot of shows on hgtv about those shopping for private islands and thought that would be the life).
Maybe its better I didn’t go through with it according to this jhu study. Lol
You know what they say, the two best days in a private island owners life are the day you buy it and the day you sell it 😉
Hilarious! I can’t believe it’s only 89.7%
Two Turnip FIREs in one week? Once you’ve tried a double stuffed Oreo, there’s not going back to regular stuffed. You’ve created a monster!
The material wrote itself in this case…
Priceless mate, absolutely awesome.
Can I request a daily dosis of turnips?
There’s not enough bourbon in the world…..
Haha, wonder how many of our federal tax dollars went to figuring that one out? Maybe I should buy a private island just so I can practice up on some condescension 😉
Don’t forget arrogance!
Hmmm, sounds like a “personal” “finance” “expert” who is on TV…. Who could it be? 🙂 Funny!
No idea… really 😉
All I can say about this study is that I “HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!!” Typical statistical lies, like that 4% rule. I’m going to buy an island right now, before I’m 65. If fear if I wait until l’m older, they will all be gone and I’ll have to live where all the idiots are, being subjected to earthquakes, floods, and health failures.
Let your hate go through you!!! Feel the hate!
I own an island. And it’s not that great. About 4% of the sand gets washed away every year and pretty soon there’ll be nothing left. I live in constant fear.
Ha! Such a clever and creative community of folks. That interview was the gift that keeps on giving. But beware the wrath of the Money Matriarch!
Hell hath no wrath!
My island survives on 3% sand loss and by my calculations I can make it till I’m 88 yrs old. The Trinity-Island study told me.
I have a friend who owns a private island. He is kind, generous and has no obvious alarmist tendencies. He is the only one I know so maybe he is an outlier. He is also a billionaire.
Cool, outlier for sure! But has he ever been on a podcast?
jk 😉
I can’t IMAGINE what brought this one on… 😉
She kinda wrote it for me 🙂
This is hilarious and spot on. Oh, suzy. Losing touch.
Thanks!
….and nobody else wanted to mention that john cocktosen is FLETCH? c’mon everybody. go back and watch it again.
C’mon, it’s all about ball bearings these days!
This is really funny.
Thanks man!
A private island? You. Can. Not. Afford That.
But I want!!!
I would hate owning a private island. Then I would need a private Navy to protect me. Who needs the headache?
Exactly. Prices on Aircraft Carriers have gone up almost as much as college tuition. Such a hassle…