Overconfident Teen Thinks Social Distancing Neighbor Just Playing Hard To Get


GLENDALE, AZ – Despite her refusal to allow him within 15 feet, local teen Justin Essek is “certain” his cute, social distancing neighbor, Jenna Harbinger, is just playing hard to get.  “She’s totally into me”, said Essek to reporters when asked about his standing with Ms. Harbinger.  “I’ve been watching ‘Dan the Pick-Up Man’ on YouTube and he’s got me dialed in to her tactics, I’m totally on to her games.  Just last week she grabbed her mace and then ran in her house when I went over to talk to her, but I know that means she just wants me.  It’s all a matter of time.”

 

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Dave @ Accidental FIRE

I reached financial independence and semi-retired in my mid-40's through hard work, smart living, and investing. This blog chronicles my journey and explores many aspects of personal finance including the psychological and behavioral factors that drive our habits.

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12 Responses

  1. Jim says:

    I’m guessing you are going to draw conclusions based on superficial analysis of the stupid. That should work out well…

  2. justin just has to put that vibe out to about 100 girls a day and cast a wide “vibe net.” i leaned that from mike damone in fast times at ridgemont high. he’s got the right idea though that she will come around. i like that name jenna harbinger. i’ll bet she’s hot.

  3. DG Capital says:

    Haha, Is there a correlation between the larger the distance she keeps the more guys will go after her?

  4. Pete says:

    The logic of the young male, or sometimes any aged male, on full display in this turnip fire article.

  5. Chris@TTL says:

    The Turnip is back! 🙂

    Really, any response was a positive one for ol’ Justin.

    She’s keeping her distance, playing games – win for Justin!

    She’s getting close, breaking the 2 meter rules just for him – win for Justin!

    That’s what builds us humans up to get knocked down again and again. Optimism! Ha.

    • Dave @ Accidental FIRE says:

      Agreed. When he eventually gets maced he’ll know for sure he’s pretty much won her over!

  6. Nomad says:

    The fact that she didn’t mace him is a definite go signal.

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