Let’s Celebrate Quitting

In 2012 Kathleen Edwards had it all.  She was a famous singer-songwriter with critically acclaimed albums and numerous music awards to her name. 

You may have never heard of her, but Edwards was not a minor act.  She appeared on Letterman and Leno numerous times, and sold tons of records.  She toured internationally. 

Yours truly saw her play live in Dublin in 2005.  I even got backstage after the show and flirted with her.  She was dating her guitarist at the time, but I gave it a good college try. 

So what did she do?  She quit music in 2013 after her 4th successful album.  Better yet, she then opened up a coffee shop in Ontario Canada called, get this, “Quitters“. 

How awesome is that! 

 

A Reset

I hated that she did this because I love her music.  Thankfully she’s coming out with a new album this fall after 7 years off.  The New Yorker just did a great piece on her comeback.  Here’s how she puts her decision to quit in the New Yorker piece:

I had been propelled for so long by the pressure of other people’s expectations for me to keep playing. I was like, ‘You gotta keep going, you gotta keep going, you got people relying on you, a manager who’s spent years promoting you, bandmates, the publisher, this, that—blah blah blah!’ Like, all that shit, right?  As soon as I removed that one little piece and said, ‘I don’t think I want to play music anymore,’ I just felt so much better.

For Edwards quitting was a reset, a chance to do something different.  And now she’s coming back, with the wisdom of someone who’s run a coffee shop for 7 years.

 

Relentless Forward Motion

We live in a society that values persistence.  Those who tough it out and finish what they start are celebrated, revered.  I’ve written about the impact that dogged persistence has had on my life.  My general ethos has been that if there’s work to do, I can tough out anything.

But here’s the thing, I also value quitting.  Walking away.  The magic comes in knowing when it’s time to double down and push ahead, and when its time to peace out. 

In the world of running and cycling races, quitting is commonly called a “DNF”, which stands for “did not finish”.  It’s literally what race organizers post on the results page for those who, well, do not finish. 

To most athletes a DNF is a no-no and to be avoided at all cost.  Injury or sickness be damned, you do your best to finish.  After all, they’re called endurance sports for a reason.  You’re expected to endure, always.

I’ve never DNF’ed a race, but I’ve DNF’ed many mountains.  The key difference is that I won’t die by finishing a race, even if I’m in pain.  But the prospect of death on a technical mountain is real, and sometimes a DNF is the only option. 

 

DNFs Can Be Opportunities

DNFs are emotional letdowns.  Your heart and aspirations have worked towards a big goal, only to be crushed with the prospect of surrender. 

But here’s the thing, DNFs are also opportunities to rebuild and rebound.  They’re not necessarily indications of weakness or poor planning, but a way to pause, recalculate, and reassess. 

Relentless forward motion might not always take you in the best direction.  A good DNF every now and then is a reminder of that.  It’s a healthy ambition check.

Kathleen Edwards DNF’ed music.  But she found that she missed it after 7 years and is coming back.  I’m psyched for her new record.  She had a reset.

 

Why Quit?

I wrote a previous post about my decision to semi-retire and go part time at my main job.   In that piece I discussed how to know when enough is enough.  Spoiler alert, there’s no formula.  You know when you know. 

But the why of quitting is arguably more important.  Edwards faced the pressure of other people’s expectations.  She says in the piece that “Guilt wasn’t a good enough reason for me to stay in it.”  

Take another example, that of Marcel Kittel.  Kittel was the top sprinter in professional cycling when he decided to retire, to DNF, at the tender age of 31.  He said:

The biggest question of the last few months was: Can I and do I want to continue to make the sacrifices needed to be a world-class athlete?  And my answer is: No, I do not want that any more, because I have always found the limitations on a top athlete as an increasing loss of quality of life. That is why I [am] very happy and proud that at this point in my life I can make the decision to follow my heart in a new direction. 

Bold emphasis mine.  An increasing loss of quality of life.  Me an Marcel should sit down for a beer, I can relate.

 

You Only Get One Body

Then there’s Sandy Koufax.  In the early to mid 1960’s Koufax was the best pitcher in Major League Baseball.  He dominated.  He finished the 1966 season with the Cy Young award, a 27-9 record, and a league leading 1.73 ERA.  Then he promptly retired, at the tender age of 30. 

He shocked everyone.  Watch this amazing short press conference from 1966.  He’s even asked about the loss of income, and his answer is amazing.

Koufax quit because of his health.  His elbow arthritis reached chronic levels.  As he said, any amount of money is worth keeping your arm.  And he ended with

I’ve got a lot of years left after baseball, and I’d like to live them with complete use of my body.  I don’t regret one minute of the last 12 years, but I think I’d regret one year that was too many.

Have any of you who hope to FIRE succumbed to “one more year” syndrome.  Koufax was having none of it. 

Like Koufax, a big part of my decision to partially quit was my health.  Sitting in an office building under artificial light 40 or 50 hours a week is simply unhealthy on so many levels.  My body deserves better, especially after everything I put it through in my younger years.

 

Only Your Reasons Matter

So why quit? 

Maybe like Kathleen Edwards you’re staying in your job to fulfill other people’s expectations.  Or because of guilt.  Maybe like Marcel Kittel your job is simply giving you a decreasing quality of life.  Or perhaps like Sandy Koufax your job is detrimental to your physical health. 

Me, I found myself in all of those, so I went part time.  But everyone’s different, and there could be infinite reasons to quit.  But your reasons are just that – yours.  You don’t owe anyone a long winded explanation.  It’s your decision.

The key is to look at quitting, or DNFing, as an opportunity to restart. 

Edwards opened a coffee shop.  Kittel is pursuing an economics degree.  Koufax went on to baseball broadcasting and coaching.  Me, I started a graphic arts business that’s thriving. 

So when it’s time to quit, don’t feel that you have to defend your “why”.  Treat it as a restart, a new opportunity to thrive.