Ford Introduces “One Big Colossal Waste Of Money” As Newest Addition To Lineup
DEARBORN, MI – On Wednesday The Ford Motor Company introduced the newest member to its line of pickups, the $49,000 base-price “One Big Colossal Waste Of Money”, or OBCWOM for short. The auto giant spared no expense with a glitzy roll-out event featuring free gas giveaways and “bottomless credit” applications.
“One Big Colossal Waste Of Money is an unusual name but we feel it best captures the spirit of our dedicated customer base”, said Ashley Cates, Chief Marketing Manager for Ford’s North American Operations. “We decided to strip everything else away and give our customers exactly what they want. Our market research shows they want one big colossal waste of money, and we’re happy to deliver!”.
Ford brought in early customers who have been driving OBCWOMs to help their sales pitch. “It gets groceries spectacularly, and it’s great knowing I have four-wheel drive and those huge tires for winter”, raved Dawn Fitzgerald from Atlanta, a city that receives about 1 inch of snow every three years. Ricky Sampson from Omaha raved about his new OBCWOM saying “It’s friggin’ awesome! I’ve always been insecure due to the inadequate size of my manhood, the OBCWOM has solved that, hoo-rah!!”
Ford ended the event with a surprise announcement that it will also offer an “XLT Limited” version of the OBCWOM that packs 1723 horsepower, gets 4 gallons to the mile, and has a top speed of 315 MPH. Fitzgerald and Sampson immediately signed their names on the waiting list to be the first happy customers.
i’m on the list. can’t wait to drive 315 per with a road soda in hand.
Be sure to get the obesity-inducing 64 ouncer, spare no expense!
Freakin’ sweet! They make this mofo in a 250 version and leather interior? Whatevs, just gimme the hat bottomless application pronto!
Ha… “do they?”. Of course they do – and you’re pre-approved for even more credit to get it!
I was just talking about this with my bike riding buddies. We were recently parked in a lot that leads to rails-to-trails gravel but is also used by deer hunters. Every single deer hunter in the lot had a fairly new huge truck. We googled the costs and the least cost base model truck in the lot was over $40K. Some of the trucks in the lot cost over $70K new.
Yup, that’s just par for the course. But in reality not as ridiculous as the married couple who has no kids and two Chevy Suburbans or Tahoes. At least those guys hunt and “might” need the pickup to carry a deer home. Although a modest small size Toyota or Nissan pickup would suffice fine for that. Their money, their choices…
I assume low monthly payments will be available via a 20 year loan for this must have beast!
Of course! And we have special 30 year “truck mortgage” programs that we’re piloting for our best customers!
I do hope that the seats are straight from a truck cab; cushy and bouncy.
Everything’s fully customizable, for a cost!
The new truck also includes a bigger version with 7L engine model which Ford will be proud to call it (SCCA) Super Climate Change Accelerator. You can pre-order this model limited to our Credit Card Customers exclusively.
SCCA – Brilliant! I should have had you write this press release!
Hilarious, my wife is on the waiting list for the 2021 Ford Bronco. Coincidentally for about that price. You are making fun of me aren’t you? We’ll see who’s laughing when the Zombie apocalypse comes and we can drive right over them with our giant tires & 4wd as they pull you out of your Prius.
Ha, well I’m not really making fun of you because you are FI and can actually afford said truck. I’m really jabbing at the majority who purchase such things and who are already in tons of consumer debt, but feel a $49k truck is just what they need.
And any good zombie will eat those tires alive and go for the trucks first – they’re bigger and have more meat to chew on!
Haha! Good one Dave! What a riot!
I have to say though – $49k is just the starting price. Once all the fancy options are added, it’s not impossible to pay $75k for a truck!
Oh yeah baby, we’re all about the options here. Give me more bottomless credit and I’ll take more options!
The most FI vehicle purchases I have ever made have been my 3 F150s…
Hear me out…
I have a vehicle benefit through work (industrial remote mountainous terrain). I pick the work appropriate new vehicle within my allowance (employer gets great fleet pricing), I pay taxes on the benefit, and have the right to buy out the vehicle at the end of the lease for book value, typically well below market price. Hubby gets the 3 year old truck and sells his older one for a similar price. Because used trucks hold their value, and with our low cost of ‘ownership’, our all in cost for having 2 relatively new F150s in the driveway was ~$25k a year (taxable benefit for one, and purchase, insurance, maintenance, fuel for the other), for 90,000+ annual combined kms driven. Hubby was self employed and needed a reliable truck that could take a beating. It was perfect.
I recently took an office job with limited travel to the remote worksites and was very eager to downsize to a mid size SUV. At the end of the lease term, the market value on the SUV will be nowhere near what it would be on a truck. I love my SUV, it is much more ‘me’ and a lot easier to navigate in parking lots and to load groceries and the kids, but one more F150 would have been the smarter financial choice!
Well in your case it sounds like a great deal. Anytime you can leverage employee benefits (or business deductions on vehicles etc) I’m all for that. And also sounds like you and your hubby actually need trucks, which puts you in the firm minority of truck owners.