The Healing Powers Of Free Time
I went part time at my job in October 2017 after exceeding my target financial independence net worth. I wrote about my initial experience with my new freedom last November, but it’s my intention to keep doing updates as the journey progresses.
You can read about my latest experiences at work now that I’m a 20 hour a week has-been here. Today’s post is an update about my experiences outside of work. Otherwise known as the good parts of life.
I’m hoping that in telling my story of what it’s like to semi-retire, I can bring to light things to consider in your journey.
Time The Revelator
After five months of working only 20 hours a week at my W2 job and having half of my weeks back, what have I learned? For one, I know that I’m definitely still detoxing from 26 years of working 40+ hours a week.
The withdrawal is real. And for me, it’s been going kind of slowly. Not that I have any idea how fast it’s supposed to go or who to compare it to.
I do feel less anxiety overall, but again, that’s been a slow progression and something of course hard to measure as I don’t have an anxiety-o-meter.
I wrote in November how I felt this crazy urge to do everything on my newly found days off. And that urge and energy created it’s own anxiety.
I don’t want to rid myself of 20 hours of W2 anxiety only to pick up 20 hours of “I can’t decide which kind of passion to pursue” anxiety. That’s a nice place to be but still has the word anxiety in it.
So I started making a schedule of sorts for my days off in January. It’s not a rigid schedule at all as I still want to have the freedom to squeeze a bike ride in before rain is coming or alter any activity for an optimal time. But it’s a framework.
And it’s been helping a lot. On some of my off days, my routine now is to wake up early and work on my blog and graphic designs for an hour or two in the morning. I then ride my bike to the library at 10:00 when they open (where I’m typing these very words) and start doing the same there.
My Personal Library Office
The library has been a savior. They have screaming Wifi, and if I get there early enough I can almost always get my favorite private corner office space with plenty of windows.
In my last job as an oh-so-important office director I had a big office, but no widows. This is bliss.
I’ve found that being away from the distractions at home helps me concentrate. I can achieve what Cal Newport calls “Deep Work” more often at the library. Others call it the “flow state”.
Call it what you will, I like it. I’m far more productive.
Oh No, Please, You Can Go
I’m an impatient person. It’s a trait I’d rather not have and am constantly trying to improve on. It only makes sense that the lack of free time due to a 40+ hour W2 job feeds that trait.
When you get home after a long day at work and have to run to the store for eggs only to see a long line, it sucks. You’re tired, you just put in 10+ hours of working and commuting. All you want to do is get your eggs and get home to have some blessed time to do something.
I Don’t Wan’t No Wait In Vain
#BobMarleyRocks
But no, here you are in a long line. If you’re like me, that’s an anger-trigger. I hate that part of my personality, but it’s there.
Well, having so much more free time is gradually squashing that! I’ve even been experimenting with what I call the “oh no you can go” rule.
Whenever I’m in a line in a store, I now try to look at the person behind me and ask if they’d like to go before me, especially if they don’t have much.
Sometimes they’re eager to take the gift, but more often folks usually just say “no I’m good, thanks”.
This is just a way I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I don’t need to feel like I’m in a hurry all the time. I’m not at work today. I’m not going to work tomorrow. I have some free time. Be nice to the person behind you. Stop being so damn hurried!
Help – I’m Being Inconvenienced!!
Back in early March Erin from ReachingForFI organized a meetup for us DC-based money nerds. I’m a punctual person, always have been. I left with an extra 15 minutes of buffer time built in, based on my usual experiences taking the notoriously bad DC metro into the city.
Well, I wound up being a full hour late. In a nutshell, DC’s metro sucks and is dying a quick death right in front of our eyes for various reasons I won’t get into. But the point here is that I still got angry for being late – I think it’s rude.
This Is Less Important Now, Stop Looking
YoungFireKnight gave me a ride to a Metro station closer to my house after the meetup (thanks again dude!). I only had 4 stops to go, but DC Metro screwed that up too. They had to take us off and put us on a shuttle bus because they were having track problems.
Normally, I would have been angry at this. It was Sunday night, 8:00. It should have taken me about 40 minutes to get home and here it was going to be an hour and half again, because Metro sucks.
But something happened. I sat there on that bus and realized “I don’t have to work tomorrow”.
Calm overcame me. A blissful-type state. The “Sunday night dread” was being experienced by millions all over the country at that very second. And I should have been having it in spades, especially with the hassle I was putting up with.
But there and then I felt some changes happening. I felt myself not only coming to terms with my new reality, I felt that reality actually sinking in and having a positive effect on my life, and my attitude.
I got home and smiled. I think this semi-retirement is gonna work out just fine…
Your turn readers, do any of you early retirees let people cut in front of you in line? Do you stop looking at the time so much?
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What time does your library open? Loved those windows! Our library has a spot that is my favorite, and it is there for me whenever I manage to go. Not so many windows though.
I had resigned my job a few months before I went back to school and experienced some of the “retired life”.At 24. Oh, the bliss!
My library opens at 10:00am. Really wish it were 9 though. The branch close to me has TONS of windows and is a really nice place to be!
Mine opens at 9:00. I somehow thought yours open earlier.
I love how you refer to it as “detox.” I can only imagine.
I think my schedule might mirror yours in some respects, once I get to the finish line next year. I just have to avoid the temptation to live in a coffee shop and spend money on fancy coffee drinks while I type away.
As for Sunday night dread? It’s interesting. I think I shed that about five years ago. Has to do with having really great bosses maybe? That, or having a Sunday night bowling league for two years cleansed me.
I only work in coffee shops once in a while, and of course NEVER Starbucks because they suck. I can get a regular coffee at one of my independent shops for $1.50, so not too bad. But the constant in-and-out of people is sometimes too much of a distraction. If I’m doing something that doesn’t require as much concentration then I enjoy it more, and I do like people-watching in the afternoon on a weekday.
Kudos for you in shaking the Sunday night dread, that’s HUGE!
Well I’m not an early retiree so this is my comment….just kidding! 🙂 Ahem, well, when I was a freelancer, one of the best things for me was not HAVING to wake up at a certain time. I slept a LOT better. I also got to work out at my optimal time between 8-10am. Now that’s not a possibility. 🙁 I’m in decent shape, but I was in MUCH better shape as a freelancer, plus I wasn’t faced with tons of bad-for-me work snacks.
I didn’t cover sleeping-in in this post but I’m struggling with it. When I try to sleep in, it usually just doesn’t seem to work. Could be the “not fully detoxed” thing. Or could be that I’m excited to get working on a blog post 😉
No problem on the ride, it was great meeting you! Didn’t realize your metro problems extended further that night… that sucks at least you had a positive outlook!
My friends and I call the “Sunday night dread” the “Sunday Scaries” haha. It’s definitely a real thing that even I experience. I’ve been working on it, and I think your mindset plays a huge part of why it occurs. Looking forward to the day that I can conquer that!
Sunday scaries – love it!
I really connect with this post. I rush everywhere and catch myself hurrying even when I have nowhere to go. I’m going to start working on this!
When you have 26 side hustles that’s what happens 😉
Glad you liked it Doc!
I hate it when I get stuck in traffic on the way to my meditation class! I like your idea of asking the person in line to go ahead. I rarely do that. I have to give that a try and see what comes of it. Why is something so simple like that “out of our comfort zone”?
“Meditation class is so crowded, no one goes anymore” Always on point Susan!
I think letting someone go first is awkward because we want to beat them, to be frank. Being time-crunched and hurried creates a me-first attitude.
I used to go to the library quite often when I early retired. Once our kid started school, it changed for me. I could do work at home now so I don’t need to go to the library as often. We still go at least once per week to get books and movies. I love our library system.
I’m much more relaxed after ER too. It’s easier when you have more time. Sounds like you’re winding down nicely. Enjoy!
Winding down is a great way to describe it, but there’s lots to unwind!
Thanks for nice post.
Glad you liked it!
When we moved from NY to NC I began letting people get in front of me on line. I was fighting the urge to be an impatient New Yorker and decided to go the other way. Mr. Groovy and I have a saying, “Where are we going?”. The answer is almost always “nowhere that we HAVE to be”.
We started drinking alcohol on Sunday nights as our way of saying FU to the Sunday night blues and the dreaded Monday mornings (of the past).
I think detox was less stark for us because we’d both been working from home. The commute alone used to kill me.
It must’ve been a challenge for you two since a life in NY probably programs you to be hurried all the time. Now you can become slow Southerners 😉
And booze on Sunday night is just fine by me, it sets me up to write blog posts!
Being late is totally not rude if it’s due to Metro woes, and wow, free time is a hell of a thing if it can conquer those! I’m really looking forward to a life with no Sunday dread and less pressure to rush-rush-rush. Although I doubt even that’ll cure me of being a ridiculously fast walker!
I recently moved to an office that has a teeny window—a bit of sunlight makes SUCH a difference. Too bad I’ll be moving back to an office with no natural light in a few months. Your library spot looks fantastic!
I think I might be walking slower too, forgot to mention that. I definitely am at my job, but elsewhere maybe not. Enjoy your teeny window while you have it!
Oops. I feel like you were writing this one to me. I’ve cut to 32 hours, not 20, but I’m still acting like I work 40+ a week most of the time. I need to get better at “scheduling” the fun stuff, like park dates with my son in the early afternoon.
I’ve worked nights for almost 22 yrs. The entire day of my first night back is filled with a subtle sadness of giving up my freedom. Like you, I try to fill my days off with rich outdoor experiences that carry me through my 6 day work stretch. In another nine months I plan to cut down to two days a month for a more balanced life. I’m going on the “less is enough plan” that Mrs Frugalwoods talks about.
Holy smokes, 22 years of working nights!! You obviously have amazing discipline, that will no doubt serve you well in whatever you do after you cut back. I suspect you’re looking forward to sleeping while it’s dark!
Definitely try to schedule Angela. I thought it seemed silly at first but now I’m seeing the benefit.
Running on the treadmill as we speak 😉
I’m really looking forward to having an informed opinion on all this. I can see having the same sort of need to fill my “free time.” I’m not sure if I’ll go to the library much or just spend more time out on my patio enjoying the breeze. All to be figured out, I guess, but I appreciate you sharing your insight!
I’m on my glorious patio as I type this right now. It’s my sanctuary. Now that it’s finally warming up many of my library trips will be replaced with patio time for sure!
Thanks for the comment!
I sometimes get to work from home and patio days with the warm breeze and birds chirping are the best. Now, when are you back in Colorado for more trekking?
Awesome, having an outdoor space like that is essential! I’ll be in Colorado sometime between July to early Sept to “maybe” finish the 14ers. I say maybe because there are no guarantees, Mother Nature rules the roost! Thanks for the comment!
That’s awesome. I’m a Denverite and have only summitted 26 thus far. Early retiree status is around the corner and more patio time, 14ers, and singletrack bliss will be much easier.
26 is still awesome Hue! Looks like you’ve got your priorities in order 😉
I am at 75% and it feels right. As a W-2 physician I will most likely go over 30 hours a week but I am take far less call. I have to be constantly doing something to justify the free time. Where i was full time I would spend hours watching movies or goofing off with the kids . Now I spend most of my time studying or blogging/SM promoting. No movies or any sort wasting time. I sleep better which as a result helps me think clearer than I ever have. Although I am working more it is much more enjoyable and for that I am happy. Thanks for the post. Docofalltradez
Sleeping better is soooo important. I have been as well and I can tell it’s working.
I like the metro. Especially not during rush hour. It’s clean and it’s quite and it’s virtually crime free. Criticizing the metro is in vogue in this town but it really could be a lot worse.
Ugh. *quiet *en
I used to like Metro a lot more, I took it to work every day religiously for about 4-5 years. To be clear – I want Metro to succeed. We need a healthy Metro system. But if they don’t get their ridership back after safe-tracking is over they’ll be in trouble financially. They already are.
The view from your library looks beautiful! I’m not retired yet but have never been a fan of watches or clocks. Some of my most relaxed days are summer camping road trips where you wake and sleep with the sun, not at a specific time on a clock. It just feels so natural and good. I would like more of those days when I retire 🙂
Maaaan, I haven’t done one of those summer camping road trips since I was 25. I remember that too, you’re so correct. You just get in this sync with the sun and the days and it feels like it’s how humans are meant to live.
I hope to get back there too – thanks for reminding me of that!
Yes, I’m another person who is always busy (yet alway ontime) and hates queues. Not to mention queue-jumpers!
Ugh, queue-jumpers. I guess when I’m letting people go before me I’m a queue skipper 😉
i worked about 12 years at a swing shift job and just got back to normalcy last july. i swear it feels like i’m retired with all this newly found free time. i don’t have a task list very much except cleaning my own laundry as mrs. smidlap has been semi-retired/not working for the past year. i know what you mean about the anxiety of wanting to fill up the free time you always wanted with something worthwhile. it gives me a little paralysis still. my routine definitely needs some fine tuning now that the snow is gone and the better dog running resumes.
we just visited a full time artist friend in louisiana who had a daily schedule posted in her studio. it had built in exercise breaks too and she said as silly as it seems it’s helped her tremendously.
Paralysis is a great word for what I feel sometimes. The scheduling helps, but I’m also finding I just have to realize that I can’t pursue all of my hobbies right now. Some need to be left to the future. There’s worse problems to have for sure!
I don’t let any lines or inconvenience me anymore. My path to mindfulness shaped this and has helped with every aspect of my life more powerfully than anything I could have imagined. There are things completely outside of my control, I have 100% the power to control my reactions so that is where I focus. Great post AF
I’ve done well with stoicism in many aspects, specifically delayed gratification with material objects. But patience is a work in progress for me. The extra free time is definitely helping!
Great post. Since you’ve gone part time, do you still have the dread? Instead of on Sunday night, is it replaced with Monday night dread (or whatever night that is the precursor to heading back to work?)
That’s a great question! Since my 20 hours a week is usually packed into two 10-hour days, they are long days. Tack on a bike-commuting time of 45 minutes each way, they’re basically 12 hour days. When I do them back to back as I sometimes have to do, I definitely experience “some” dread the night before. But it’s not the same. The old Sunday night dread was a knowledge of 5 days staring me in the face. When I know it’s only two days, I remind myself that the first one might be the equivalent of Monday, but the second one is already Friday!
So yes, I get a bit dread-y the night before but it’s not as bad. Thanks for the comment and the great question!
Glad to hear it is better. Makes perfect sense that two long days would be much much better than 5. Take care!
Hey, that’s a nice office with a nice view! I’m totally with you that life on a 40 hour job is tough when you spend 8 hours at work and more time commuting to and fro. That’s a lot of time out of your day before you get home and you’re too tired to do anything else. I really can’t wait till I have more free time to do more things that I want. Maybe part time when I get closer to retirement will be the way to go.
I would highly recommend part time. It’s a great way to test the waters of free time and to keep your foot in the working world. And if you keep your benefits as I do it’s the best of both world’s. Thanks for stopping by!
There are so many things for me to comment on:
1. That library office is dope. My husband suggested I go to the library to blog, since my work habits at home are so poor.
2. I am always late. ALWAYS. So I was a little satisfied to see you try to be on time and end up being late. For me, I’m a total optimist and that’s why I’m late all the time!
3. I’m one of those people who’s always in a hurry and will mow you down if you’re walking too slowly. But if I were semi-retired I might let someone else go ahead of me in line, but only if they have a few things.
4. I know exactly how this all feels, because I’ve been unemployed before. At the time, it was bliss to do whatever I wanted, whenever.
My dope office – yes! You should try the library, everyone’s different but I find it’s helps to minimize distraction. Coffee shops have too much people-watching etc.
I also think you’d probably start walking slower once you work less. I think Tanja from ONL remarked the same in one of her posts. It’s really hard to get your mind to just chill out!
I’m not an early retiree but I am at home now with two young kids after 15 years in corporate jobs. I always say to people that I know I was doing the wrong thing in life when I sleep better at night now, with two babies, than when I did when I was stressed out because of work. I’m able to do what I’m doing now because of how I managed my finances earlier in life. I love that you mentioned the library – I am a regular visitor, it’s a great place to go with the kids on the days where I’m losing my mind a bit (just wrote a blog post about this yesterday!).
CONGRATS! Sounds like you prepared well and are reaping the benefits of being able to be with your children. And you get more sleep!
I get stressed when I’m late too but I usually don’t arrive 15 minutes early.
Avoiding traveling during rush hour is the best thing about FIRE/not having to work a 9-5 🙂
I am sort of on a ‘mini retirement’ as I am on parental leave for one year but I’m having some anxiousness of going back to work, haha. I still feel super busy but maybe that’s because I have an 8 month old.
Yes! Being off allows me to avoid traffic and peak times at stores etc. It’s awesome.
Thanks for stopping by!
No “Sunday Night Dread”, sounds awesome. I can’t imagine anyone who works full time, M-F doesn’t experience this on a near-weekly basis. I like my job, but I still yearn for that one extra day. Kudos to you for getting there!
I think your experience is accurate for many who do like their jobs (who are the minority of course overall). Even if your job is pretty cool, two days off to do other things in life just isn’t enough. In addition, it’s the 5 days in a row thing that’s hard as well. I know someone who works Sat but takes off Wed, she likes it better than a traditional schedule because she never works more than 3 days in a row. Until she wants to go on a short trip of course…
Congrats on you detoxifying yourself by giving you more time. I have started taking 1 day off a week from my busy practice and it has made all the difference in the world. It’s funny you mentioned it in your post but I went to the grocery store (Sam’s club) in the middle of the day on my day off and it was like a night and day difference. Less crowded and just a quicker in and out experience.
The fact that everyone else is working while you’re “goofing off” makes that time even more enjoyable.
Yes – life during what I call “off peak” hours is pretty sweet isn’t it? Some say it’s lonely but I say hogwash. I don’t like crowds. If I want to be in a crowd I’ll go to Bonnaroo or a 4th of July fireworks show. I don’t want that at my grocery store.
Thanks for the compliment!