Failed Writer Pens 1600 Word One-Star Review For Hand Sanitizer On Amazon

BLAIRSVILLE, GA – In a clear case of pandemic boredom and excess time, failed writer Bobby Trippe carefully crafted a 1632 word 1-star review for Germ-X hand sanitizer on Amazon.  Trippe, who has written 5 novels and a book of short stories that have sold 3 copies combined, spent hours crafting the review that he’s sure will put his career on the map, according to reporters.  Trippe says the Germ-X hand sanitizer “was slightly satisfying but left my hands wanting for more….”, and has “an exceptionally ordinary viscidity balanced by a pedestrian blue-collar odor.”  He claims Germ-X to be “uniquely mediocre in a niche ready for winners”, and laments the “sparking paradox of missed opportunity that left me hopeful yet crestfallen.”

Trippe ends the review saying “Germ-X has pulled off the intricate feat of crafting a hand sanitizer that neither distinguishes nor flops, but merely exists.  Even the presentation is an afterthought, the stunningly generic bottle screams of banausic nightmares and offers a paucity of charm to match the contents within.  Do not buy.”

Reporters noted Trippe later updated his review to 5 stars after he mistakenly grabbed it instead of lotion while watching PornHub.