Jeff Bezos Holds Up Line At Food Mart With Stack Of Coupons
MEDINA, WA – According to local reporters and irate eyewitnesses, Amazon, Inc. CEO Jeff Bezos held up the line at the Medina, Washington Food Mart for over 20 minutes when he presented a huge stack of coupons to the cashier. “I recognized him and got in line behind him hoping to strike up some small talk”, said Doug Neidermeyer “but then he whips out this enormous stack of coupons and 20 minutes later I’m still stuck there in line. He even had a coupon for a tin of Altoids.”
Sources report that one irate customer stuck behind him yelled “Why aren’t you shopping at Whole Foods, you own it!”, to which Bezos laughingly replied “It’s a rip-off!”
*Turnip FIRE is satire so for all that is holy please don’t sue me, I’m just trying to make people laugh.
neidermeyer is a sneaky little weasel. bezos should have blackened both of his eyes then everyone would know he was told twice to back off!
weasel indeed, but jeff doesn’t strike me as the violent type
😂😂😂 this is great. Keep it up Dave
thanks!
I knew that divorce was going to put a crimp in his lifestyle. She got the goldmine, Jeff got the shaft!
Seriously… he reportedly had a few cans of Chef Boyardee Mini Dinosaurs, with coupons
Bezos was at least candid about the value of Whole Foods and understands the value of couponing. Good to see him with other hobbies. Bless him! 🙂
He’s got things dialed in
A Food Mart in Medina? Fat chance! If you’ve ever been there, it’s like Beverly Hills. Medina is a suburb for the uber rich who don’t even do the shopping. Seriously, it’s nothing but giant mansions.
The closest “normal person” grocery store is a Safeway or the Whole Foods over in Bellevue (Also a wealthy suburb).
Still a great turnip fire post though! 🙂
Medina is where Bezos lives (or at least one of his houses), so yes I’m aware. That’s why it’s satire, see what I did there?
It’s fun to try to picture a Food Mart in Medina 🙂
I am a senior I was fired from Amazon after 3 years for using all my available times through no fault of my own but even billionaires have the right to shop where they want and use coupons and you have the right to ask management to move lines jeeze there are worse things in the world than waiting I’ll bet if you were in line to die you’d sure want to wait
It’s satire… lighten up 🙂
Bahaha… even he knows it 😉 Oh, Bezos. What a knucklehead.
Jenni and I are all too frequently the jokers holding up the line with a stack of coupons… 😀 But I promise they’re not the rinky dink 25 cent ones! We’re talking full on “free product” coupons! Those are worth delaying everyone else you can’t convince me otherwise! Haha.
Thanks for the laugh!
I do online coupons but haven’t done a physical one in years. I probably should