Sober October And How It Impacts My Finances
Regular Accidental FIRE readers are aware of my history as a functional alcoholic. I used alcohol as a way to escape my traumatic childhood, or at least that’s what I thought I was doing.
Being drunk was a good place to be because I was a happy drunk, and who doesn’t want to be happy? It took decades of discipline and hard work to stop leaning on the crutch of alcohol to find happiness. And I eventually realized it’s better to face the past and reckon with it than fruitlessly try to cover it up with a drug.
Well into middle age I’m still evaluating my relationship with alcohol and how it’s impacted my finances and life. I’m happy to report it’s going well.
Sober October I
Back in 2021 I did my first sober October. No alcohol at all for 31 days. It wasn’t really hard. I had done some extended periods without alcohol about 20 years ago in Afghanistan since it was forbidden there even for U.S. troops and federal employees supporting them. But we did sneak a bottle or two from our NATO allies as it was not forbidden for them, so my whole deployment was not dry.
It’s a very different thing to forego alcohol at home where I have everything available whenever I want than to abstain in a foreign land where it’s illegal.
Things went well in October 2021, but when the month ended I did go back to having a glass of wine with dinner most nights. The 2021 holiday season came and went and as 2022 started I found myself skipping my glass of wine more and more.
Additionally, on nights when I did imbibe I started pouring a half or even quarter glass. I was doing this with intent, but at the same time it wasn’t as if I had to fight back a strong urge to have more wine. My desire for it waivered somewhere between “meh” and “please” most nights.
Don’t Ignore The Data
One day on a cycling group ride my buddy John and I got talking about alcohol. John, like me, is an all-things fitness and health guy who reads all the blogs and listens to all the podcasts. Unlike me though John spends beaucoup bucks, haha.
John has an Oura Ring, which is a pricey biotech ring that among other things tracks your sleep quality. These devices (there are many now) are getting better and better and the accuracy of the data is something to pay attention to.
John had been experimenting with how alcohol affects his sleep, and what he told me was shocking. Basically he said that if he was going to have a drink he needed to have it at least 5 or 6 hours before he went to sleep to have it not impact his sleep score negatively.
The question is, what does it mean to have his sleep score negatively impacted? Just one drink too close to sleep would elevate his heart rate all night. It would reduce his time spent in REM sleep, which is easily tracked by these devices. It would increase his blood pressure, and it would lower his heart rate variability (that’s bad).
All from one measly drink. He was already a convert and was drinking less and doing it earlier in the afternoon if he was going to have one.
Good sleep is crucial to health and longevity, that’s not even a remotely controversial statement after the last decade of discoveries in the sleep science field.
I internalized his experience….
Sober October II
Yesterday I completed my second sober October! It was even easier than last year. And I abstained all month despite meeting the infamous wine connoisseur Freddy Smidlap and his beautiful bride in person in October!
As compared to 2021 I’ve had way less alcohol this year so far, sometimes not even having a full glass of wine in the course of a week.
I do still enjoy the way the flavor of red wine blends with a nice nutritious meal. So most nights I either have a quarter glass of wine with my dinner – just enough to enjoy the mix of flavor with my food – or none at all.
This has done wonders for my sleep.
And my expenses. I looked back at credit card records and tried to tally how much I spent on alcohol in 2019 when I was a more frequent drinker. It’s a rough number since I also had drinks out at restaurants.
My rough estimate was $1350. That includes quite a few bottles of good bourbon and vodka. I haven’t bought a bottle of bourbon or vodka since 2019.
Actually I’ve only had a drink about 100 – 120 days this year in total. And almost all of those days it’s been a quarter or half glass of wine.
I’ve only had 2 beers this year – in total. So far I have not gotten buzzed once. This could be the first year since I was 14 years old that I haven’t gotten at least a little bit drunk.
Metamorphosis
A little while back I posted about what’s called the end of history illusion. In a nutshell it’s an illusion where people think they’ve stopped developing or changing and that they’ll be the way they are for the rest of their lives. I’m continually changing, and I like to think it’s mostly for the better.
And when it comes to alcohol I’m in the midst of a big sea change in my life. Turns out that change is also great for my health, and my finances.
I don’t know if I’ll ever give up alcohol entirely. And I place no judgment on those who still drink. Hell, all of my friends do and many quite heavily. All I know is I’m following my internal compass and it’s leading me to a life with less and less alcohol.
It’s also leading me to better sleep, and more money. I’m good with that.
With not socializing as much with the pandemic I haven’t been to parties or going out in Downtown. Then with picking up running, I’ve just had less interest. 3rd change is a better job!
Labor day weekend I went out with friends and 1 kept handing me drinks. That was the most I’d had since the pandemic started! It wasn’t super drunk, just a nice easy Saturday night listening to music outdoors with friends.
It has been an interesting progression / evolution.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Congrats on the sober October.
Covid had a double edge when it comes to alcohol. Some folks drank way more but at home, including many of my friends. Others who tend to drink more in social settings suddenly drank way less, and that is me. Thanks for the kudos and good luck to you on your journey!
I definitely had friends who worked from home mention day drinking. My work requires attention to detail, so I thought it best not to.
Thanks! This running journey is interesting. Tonight jogging down a hill, I felt like I was flying! Epic! Still huffing and puffing at the top of the hill, but I can tell my fitness has improved.
Awesome Liz, use that momentum and keep it going! Thanks for stopping by!
I’ve tapered my drinking off in the last few years as well Dave, not because I think I have a problem (though alcohol abuse runs rampant in my family), just being more health conscious. I’ll be 52 this month and my desire is to be very active in my later years, (some would say i’m already in my later years 😉 but I dont think I am. So, to me its all about quality of life later, and saving money on no alcohol is a side bonus. Congrats on your alcohol-free October, thats fantastic!
52 is young. We’re about the same and we’re lucky that we’re catching the beginning of the real longevity science movement. I’m confident I’ll make it to 100, barring asteroid strikes or supervolcanoes. Thanks for stopping by!
hey dave. thanks for the shout out. i had a little health thing back in 2020 and got off the sauce for about 6 weeks voluntarily. it really wasn’t that hard and (like you mention for yourself) at the end of 6 weeks i had a whole pile of money!
all that being said, next time we meet up we’ll go out and get some exercise but then it will be off to somewhere that serves wine. no pressure for you to have any or much. i’ll handle the whole bottle if necessary. cheers!
Ha I’ll have a glass with you, I’m not going totally dry yet and even if I did decide to give it up I imagine I’d make exceptions for special occasions. But if you did want the whole bottle to yourself who am I to say no? 🙂
Congrats on your sober October Dave! 9.5 years without a drink here. I don’t miss it at all. Sure, socially other people might question my choice or think I’m strange, but that’s totally OK!
Strange is good!
Heck yeah strange is good! Congrats on 9.5 years.
Wow, coming up on a full decade – congrats to you Tako! You define discipline!
Fascinating to hear that one drink close to bedtime can have that dramatic an effect. I seldom drink, probably 1 beer every two weeks or so when the “Fido Family” meets at a local micro-brew. I enjoy the company, and slowly savor one craft beer. Everything in balance, right?
You drink even less than me. Like anything in life something you enjoy becomes more special when you don’t do it all the time, so I like your strategy. Save it for social get togethers and keep them spaced apart. Nice!
Good job on the sober month. I too used alcohol to avoid dealing with issues, childhood trauma being one of them. Whiskey infused escape was easier, but putting the hard work in and dealing with stuff head on seems to have paid off. As you’ve written before, making the hard choice is worth it. I don’t think I was that great a person on the sauce, now I’m trying to be better. These days I’m down to a drink or two a month.
On a lighter note, the French and the Brits with the booze were a lifesaver! I remember being briefed on general order number one being enacted in Afghanistan to “facilitate positive relations with the locals”(which old intel said were all anti-alcohol), only to find out the locals were drinking regularly. The village elders whom we were trying to get in good with saw it as disrespectful if we didn’t drink with them, so we had to violate the order to fulfill the stated purpose of said order. Got to love working for a giant bureaucracy!
Congrats on the big reduction dude, very awesome! As for Afghanistan, yeah it was weird. Back in 2003 we had the Brits and Canucks nearby who could get us stuff. But we did have to be real careful in hiding it because they sent some folks home including civilians who were caught. It was weird, I was in my early 30’s by then but felt like I was 18 again sneaking and hiding alcohol to not get in trouble! Bureaucracies do create strange scenarios
My best friend’s a functioning alcoholic. I just find it interesting how often alcohol comes up in conversation when with him. My wife and I don’t drink, and it never is part of our conversation. So here’s my take, if alcohol is forefront in your mind, think about not abstaining one month, but one year.
Yeah I’m probably headed that way as my post alluded to. As I said, I think it’s my internal compass. Thanks for the comment!