Retirement Police Academy Graduates 2018 Class
DALLAS – After 30 weeks of grueling training, the Internet Retirement Police (IRP) Academy of America graduated it’s 2018 class at a ceremony in Dallas on Wednesday. Over 40 new freshly-minted Internet Retirement Police are now ready for duty, and it couldn’t come at a better time. “The sheer proliferation of so-called ‘FIRE blogs’ and those claiming to be retired on the internet has exploded in scale in the past year”, said IRP Chief of Police Dexter Johnson. “Now more than ever society needs protection from these possible falsehoods and enforcement of our laws.”
In a stroke of luck, our reporter was able to catch live action as some of the new graduates were immediately thrown into action. A frantic call came in on headquarters radio dispatch, and the new officers were ready to respond. “We have a 10-29 on a new post from a blog called Beekeeper On Fire. Author claims retirement but still keeps bees. All units respond immediately!!”
The new officers immediately crowd-swarmed onto the site and corrected the infraction. Swift and prompt ‘comment smack-downs’ as they’re called here are a hallmark of IRP enforcement tactics, but just one tool in their toolbox. Johnson adds “Rest assured, we have many tools at our disposal, and if you’re out there claiming you’re retired, well, you damn well better be or we’re comin’ for ya”.
Hilarious! I haven’t got swarmed by IRP yet, maybe because my site isn’t famous. Being in the trenches has its privileges!
Just be careful, stay on the right side of the law!
Lol, if you’re out there we’ll find you! Your either not retired, or your not retired…. By the looks of things, you are definitely not retired my friend!
Me and the IRP have a complex relationship….
hilarious. i had one chucklehead disagree with me with 800-1000 word replies, letting me know that if i wouldn’t be baited into a silly comment argument then i lose. all the police out there can give themselves a participation trophy right now for winning the twitter smackdowns. COMMENT CHAMPION OF NERDVILLE!
there’s chuckleheads everywhere freddy, and in the IRP being a chucklehead is mandatory for admission
Ha! Too funny. I just found your blog- checking it out now!
Glad you liked it, thanks for stopping by!
Excellent timing on this one lol.
I hope that doesn’t mean you had an IRP incident recently…
Haha. Tagged you on Twitter.
Whew good thing I have forever to go until I’m at risk of attracting the IRP!
You’re safe for now but they watch all pf bloggers, just in case…
Uh. Oh. I think I’m in trouble. Oh, that’s right, I’m not retired yet.
If you ever do retire my friend you’ll have to give up all 1,237 of your side hustles to be on the right side of the IRP. A daunting task to say the least.
Wait a minute. You own the means of production — the “worker bees” are the ones with the side hustle.
Nice one. I love the way the police “crowd-swarmed” in. Imagine that.
I hope my worker bee days are over, and that I stay clear of the IRP!
Well thanks for getting the cops theme song stuck in my head now.
I do what I can 🙂
ha ha! I love this! I think you should buy the URL for Beekeeper on Fire. tee hee! Everyone’s on damn fire!
Maybe I already did… 😉
Thank goodness for the IRP. Without them, people who are under the age of 65 might be – gasp – happy they aren’t a W-2 employee! Can’t have that.
Amen! Let’s not forget to honor them on the next National Law Enforcement Day!
“IRP Chief of Police Dexter Johnson”
The least you could have done was gotten his name right – that’s IRP Chief of Police POINdexter Johnson.
Of course!
🙂
More seriously, thanks much for the laugh. I’m not a PF blogger but I read a lot of them, and the IRPs are real.
Yeah that’s sloppy reporting… gotta get the names right!
.. and they’ve all found Reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/comments/8pz6gz/corrupt_fire_bloggers_recommending_bad_investments/
Cheers!
-PoF
Ugh… their reach is far indeed. We need to get internet radar guns to have a beep alert or something
Funny. I found this post via that Reddit post PoF referenced above.
Thanks!