Scientists Discover Mysterious Click Funnel So Powerful Even Light Can’t Escape

PASADENA, CA – NASA scientists have discovered an online click funnel so powerful even light can’t escape.  Using the new Kepler telescope, precise gravitational measurements, and mass spectrometry, scientists have confirmed the existence of what they have labeled “click-funnel MPBM3”

NASA revealed the click funnel was discovered in the blog “megapassivebloggermillions.com”, a medium sized blog in the financial group previously thought to be benign and harmless.  That is until now.  Data and measurements confirm MPBM3 to be the largest and most powerful click funnel yet discovered.  Once in the funnel and past the event horizon, MPBM3 has conversion rates of 100% and is inescapable.  In other words, if you enter, neither you nor your money can escape.  Not even light can escape.

“It’s just massive”, lead scientist Tom Danmore said  “MPBM3 appears to be powered by it’s gargantuan ‘lead magnet’, which is by far the most powerful magnetic object ever observed in the universe.”  Danmore added, “the magnet in MPBM3 is disrupting galactic magnetic fields and polarization patterns enough to actually change space-time, and we haven’t fully discovered the extent of it’s powers.”

In a shocking revelation, Danmore confessed “I succumbed to the funnel by purchasing the online course titled Affiliate Strategies For Products You Haven’t Used.  I bought five more courses, and am still in the funnel right now as we speak.  When the next online class launches I’ll buy it automatically, no questions asked.  I’m aware of what’s happening but I can’t stop it.  Somebody please fucking help me.”

NASA colleagues plan to use his unfortunate circumstance to study the mysterious click funnel safely from the outside.  They hope the data they collect will lead to more discoveries about the mysterious workings of click funnel space-times, the relativistic effects of cosmic magnetism, and shady blogging strategies designed to take your money.