Entire FIRE Community Falls Ill From Tainted Ramen At Aldi’s
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Food And Drug Administration (FDA) warned consumers on Thursday not to eat any 26¢ ramen noodles from Aldi after an outbreak of listeria caused illness to virtually everyone in the FIRE community. “We’re warning consumers not to eat the Chicken Ramen packets with a UPC number of 396257 from Aldi’s”, said Roger Fitzgerald of the FDA. He then paused and with an astonished look on his face said “Does anyone really eat this shit anyway? Oh yeah, those frugal FIRE weirdos… sorry”.
As of press time the illnesses have been spread across 42 states and so far have only affected members of the FIRE community.
ha ha ha. i used to watch my dad eat that crap while i was growing up. i’ll die from frozen tina’s burritos but not from tainted ramen.
i’ve never had a tina’s burrito and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not
when they’re on sale they only cost fiddy cent.
I’m just sitting here anxiously waiting for symptoms to start kicking in…..nothing like a hot bowl with added tapatio to turn it up a notch
good luck, keep a towel handy…
You know, if you add a $2.50 can of canned, white chicken meat to chicken Ramen, you have a tasty (but not healthy) bowl of chicken soup for two….
That’s a pro-move. When I was a poor college kid I used to buy a cheap jar of spaghetti sauce and make 2 meals from a single ramen packet. I’d cook the noodles and put spaghetti sauce on them. And I’d use the toxic “flavored powder” semi-food product packet and dump into hot water to make a bowl of soup. Healthy? No, but frugal.
Yikes, since I still eat it on occasion!
Good luck Pete
Haha, this is hilarious! Yes, I do eat ramen occasionally, but the really fancy kind.
Be careful!
I think I tried one of those cheap ramen packets a couple of decades ago. Luckily, a strong aversion to eating things more artificial than natural coming in overly packaged units has kept me from ever buying or eating one since…
I suppose my future application to the FIRE club will be denied after this disclosure.
You are ceremoniously kicked out of the FIRE Club!
LOL, guess I’m lucky I ate the shrimp flavored Sapporo Ichiban this week then.
Damn that sounds good!
ROFL I shouldn’t have been drinking water when I read this. Now I have to clean up my screen. 🙂
easy Bob!
I think we need to turn up the frequency on these Turnips—they’re always a delight 😀
Thanks for the laugh.
man that’s a tall order… but thanks!