BALTIMORE – A groundbreaking and comprehensive study by scientists at John Hopkins University identified a strong link between being condescending and fear mongering to owning a private island. “The results kind of surprised us”, said lead researcher John Cocktosen. “The...
ORLANDO – While attending FINCON 2018, “always on” blogger, entrepreneur, and speaker Brock Powers tipped the waitress at a swank Orlando restaurant with his Personal Capitol affiliate link. “She was okay I guess, but she’s not making use of her...
– “Mike Tyson Once Had Millions But You Won’t Believe How Many Starbucks Points He Has Now….” – “17 Surprising Reasons Why I Married Into Money And Why You Should Too” – “You Won’t Believe What (insert 70’s actress name here)...
CARBONDALE, CO – Local gasbag Brett Flaherty went into a five minute, stream of consciousness monologue in a pathetic attempt to deconstruct the cappuccinos at the ordering counter in the popular Bonfire coffeehouse in downtown Carbondale. “I’m kinda looking for...
In an effort to appeal to cutting edge hipster’s and the frugal extreme who have taken to dumpster-diving, McDonald’s last week debuted it’s new McDumpster Supreme hamburger. “While many think of McDonald’s as a legacy company, we want to show...
Aries While waiting in line at CVS with your girlfriend, you second-guess the 30 cents saved on those Kirkland condoms at Costco. Taurus New possibilities for frugality are explored as you anxiously await the next one-day sale on divorce paperwork...
LOS ANGELES – “This is starting to be outrageous”, said Larry Ellison, upon being notified of another increase in his country club dues. The new rate – $1.8 million per year. “I mean, okay, I get inflation, but they don’t...
DALLAS – After 30 weeks of grueling training, the Internet Retirement Police (IRP) Academy of America graduated it’s 2018 class at a ceremony in Dallas on Wednesday. Over 40 new freshly-minted Internet Retirement Police are now ready for duty, and...
NEW YORK – A special meeting of leading economists was conveyed in New York to deliberate on the future of Taco Bell’s dollar menu. Most of the esteemed panelists agreed inflation will continue to challenge Taco Bell’s ability to deliver...
Aries The vulgar depths of the internet renew your faith in free speech after a google search for “backdoor roth”. Taurus You will continuously delay opening a creepy email from Chase Sapphire with the title “I know you’re just using...
LOS ANGELES – The popular rapper known as 50 Cent has legally filed to change his name to 68 Cent “to adjust for inflation”. The rapper, whose birth name is Curtis Jackson, explained to reporters that “my first album came...
DALLAS – A group of drunk Jimmy Buffett fans wearing Hawaiian shirts and flip flops crashed FinCon, a conference about money and investing. Chanting “fins to the left, fins to the right… blah blah.. err beer… woo-hoo!” and other obnoxious...
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2024 Activity Tracker
Cycling: 5039 Miles
Running: 314 Miles
Hiking: 46 Miles
Paddling: 86 Miles
Climbing Days: 1
2023 Activity Tracker
Cycling: 5400 Miles
Running: 472 Miles
Hiking: 37 Miles
Paddling: 96 Miles
Climbing Days: 6
2022 Activity Tracker
Cycling: 5408 Miles
Running: 321 Miles
Hiking: 43 Miles
Paddling: 40 Miles
Climbing Days: 7
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